Stupid Math Student: Funny

A little boy was doing his maths homework & saying: 2+5, the son of a bitch is 7. 3+6, the son of a bitch is 9

His Mom: What are you doing?

Boy: I'm doing maths homework
...
Mom: this is how your teacher taught you?

Boy: Yes

Infuriated, Mom asked the teacher the next day-'What are you teaching my son in maths?'

Teacher: Right now, we are learning addition.

Mom: you teaching them to say 2+ 2, the Son of a bitch is 4?

Teacher after laughing: What I taught them was, 2+2, the sum of which is 4 :D

Japanese Shocked: Funny

Old But Nice 

Japanese came to Nepal. He took a TAXI to go to the
airport. On THE way a HONDA overtakes,

JAPANESE:->"HONDA made in JAPAN very fast

".
NEXT A TOYOTA OVERTAKES, he said
"TOYOTA made
in JAPAN, very fast."

Airport came he asked

"how much?" DRIVER:" 3000Rs

"
JAPANESE:-> " Why so expensive?

"
DRIVER: "METER made in Nepal very fast."

Eye checkup

A man visits his optician and says "Doctor, I'm having difficulty seeing distant objects". 

The optician opens the curtains and points into the sky. "What's that"? 

The man walks over, looks up and says "It's the Sun". 

The optician says "How far do you want to see"?

Funny: Wife vs Husband

Husband: Do you know the meaning
of WIFE?
It means, Without Information,
Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever

Big family Problem: Epic Funny

Daughter : Dad Im Lesbian
Dad: Oh okay

2nd Daughter: Im Also Lesbian
Dad: What ! 
Dosen't Anyone From This Family Love MEN?

Son: I Do ..

Funny: Study

Open your book, switch off your mobile & start studying !! 
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The above mentioned stunt is done by highly trained professionals so please don't try this at home !!

Expensive tear

There is nothing more expensive than a Female
tear.....
.
When a single drop comes out,It First mixes with
"loreal"
Eyeliner 'n "Dior" Mascara
.
Then when it comes down to cheek....
it mixes with D&G Blusher
.
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'n In case it touches the lips,It gets mixed with
"Maybelline" lipstick
This means that a single drop is worth Atleast
Rs.1500 !:P:D

Valentines day Tip

V-Day Tip: 

Tell your girl you already got her something and make her guess... 
She will automatically list the stuff she wants!!

Silly thief

Chor Aaya
Tijori pr Likha tha
"Todne ki Zrurt Nhi, Button Dabaao, Khul Jyega"
Button Dabate hi Police Aa gyi.

Chor-
"Aaj Mera Insaniyat se wishwas uth gaya"

Girl haircut

Dear Android/Apple,

Please make an App that alerts us every time our girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don't forget to notice...

Sincerely,
Everyone.

Blind man

Patient : "Would I be able to read after this eye surgery ?" 

Doctor : "Yes why not?" 

Patient : "But i'm an illiterate person" :P

Why are indians hated in USA

Why are Indian students are disliked in USA?

It was the first day of a school in the USA & a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade classroom...

The teacher said: Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?

He saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up & said: Patrick Henry, 1775!

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar: Abraham Lincoln, 1863!

The teacher snapped at the class: Class! You should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.

She heard a loud whisper: F*** the Indians!

'Who said that?', she demanded.

Chandrasekhar: General Custer, 1862.

At that point, a student in the back said: I'm gonna puke!

The teacher glares around & asks: All right! Now, who said that?

Again, Chandrasekhar says: George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.

Now furious, another student yells from the back of the class: Oh yeah? Suck this!

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand & shouts to the teacher: Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said: You little shit! If you say anything more, I'll kill you!

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice: Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said: Oh shit, we're screwed!

And Chandrasekhar said quietly: I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008.

Faker of love

I asked my heart ♥....
Why can't I sleep at night....?
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My heart told me:

bcoz you have all ready slept in the afternoon.

Dont act like you are in love....:p

Ferrari

Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do. 
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your Ferrari?

Funny: Little Jonny

Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take
off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

Funny: Buffalo girl

A Boy was driving a car.
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A girl on scooty overtook him.
.
Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
.
Girl turned back n shouted.."you
donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"
.
Suddenly she had an accident She
was hit by a buffalo crossing d
road..
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MORAL: "Girls never understand
what a boy wants 2
say"

Funny: Uncertainities

NCELL ko Balance ra

NTC ko Network

FACEBOOK ma bhet bhako keti
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Kahile janxa thaha hunna

Funny: Vele ra Football

Ronaldo aaye ni, Messi aayeni, Pele vanya Pele nai ho

Cricket matrai ho, Football ta dhoti le kheleko  khelei ho.

Sharukh khan vaye ni, Salman khan vaye ni,  Vele vanya vele nai

Jay Nepal

Funny: Rajesh dai vs Rajinikant

       Ek din Rajinikant Rajesh dai lai guff didai rayecha.

Rajnikant: Rajesh ji, Mero ghar ta yesto thulo cha ki Eauta room bata arko room ma jana Local train use garnu parcha.

Rajesh dai ley ni farkai haley:

Rajesh dai: “Mero ghar ma ta eauta room bata arko room ma phone garyo vaney Roaming charge lagcha.”

Funny: Rajesh dai Biker

Ek din Valentino Rossi lai Rajesh dai sanga bike race garna mann laagyecha.

Kosley jityo, any guess?? Of course, Rajesh dai won.  Then Valentino Rossi Fainted. Any guess why??

Becoz Rajesh dai was driving in Neutral.