Meaning of Success for Men and Women

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.|

Justin Bieber Vs Yusuf Bhai

Yusuf bhai called Justin Bieber GAY,,
and Bieber slapped Yusuf with his
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PURSE!! LOLOL

Awesome dhoti joke

Eauta dhoti thio rey, atti nai goro thiyo rey ani,
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ani k heriraa, joke sakisakyo, dhoti ni kai goro huncha :D

Dhoti ko Existence

Eauta manche ekdum thulo jungle ma harayecha... Usley lakh koshis garey pani bato patta lagauna sakenacha... Hinda hindai u eauta pokhari ko najik pugecha ra pani khana khojecha, side ma hereko ta eauta dhoti pani panipuri bechdai rayech.

Moral: Dhoti ja pani pugchan!!

Tough engineering

An Engineering Student went &
proposed a beautiful girl.

Girl : What can u do to make me love you ?

Boy : I will do what ever u want, I will bring
stars from the sky, I will jump from
where ever u say, I will do anything
for u....
Girl : Can u complete ur Engineering without a single back??
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Boy : Okay Sister! Take care!!

Fake Prachanda

Prachanda says: "So far in life, I have never cheated. I am not a corrupt person. I am a true patriot."
Sunny Leone hears this and says:"Yea rite, I am also a virgin"

A very wise post from a very frustrate person

Men need 100% talent to succeed
in life. B-)
Women need only 4%. :O
Because the remaining 36+24+36
helps... :p

Funny Yusuf Bhai Again

SCIENCE TEACHER : OUR TOPIC TODAY IS
REPRODUCTION
CLASS : YES SIR
TEACHER :Yusuf, SO WHAT IS REPRODUCTION???

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Yusuf bhai : ITZ TODAY'S TOPIC

A sad love story: Very funny

A B0y Sent The Most Expensive Bird ,
That C0uld Speak 40 Languages As
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a Birthday Gift 2 His Girlfriend.

Next Day He Asked About The Gift.

B0y: Hows The Bird??

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Girl: Very Tasty..!! ;)

18+ stuff

I was really angry
when I
lost quiz by 1 point.
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Last question was "Where do women
mostly have curly hair"
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I was sure that i was correct,
But
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Stupid judges
said "Africa :(

Hilarious Gf n Bf conversation

euta gf ra bf thye re...
gf:oi suna na ma aama
banne wala xu
bf:oi k re??
gf:ahh k ma aama banne wala xu...
bf:oi k bhanya yo.....oi
tension nadeu na
gf:ho kya ma sachhikai
aama banna laako xu
bf:kasari?/
gf;tero bau le propose
garyo..maile ta accept
gardiye....aba tero aama
bhayina ta ma??

Height of attitude: Epic Funny

My ATTITUDE...
Someone proposed me..
I said : Am not accepting your proposal..
But i salute your CHOICE :

Wonders of the world: Epic Funny

Why is 'Taj Mahal' of India
considered to be a seven
wonders of the world??
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Because It Is the only White Thing
That Is Found In
India

Phone problem when drunk: Hilarious

A drunkard: When I'm drunk, my phone should really warn me by saying:
"Are you sure you want to send this text?

Blood circulation: Last haudey

Medical Science says: "Tight Clothing Slows Blood Circulation"

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But the Truth is "Tighter the Woman's Clothing, Faster The Circulation of Man's Blood"

Bank robbery: Epic funny

Man with Gun goes in bank & demands ..

Once he is given money, he turns to a lady & asks, 'Did you see me rob bank?
Lady : 'Yes, I did'.

Robber shot her in the head.

He turned to a couple & askd d man 'Did you see me rob d bank?'

Man said 'No sir, but my wife did...

When Opportunity knocks,USE IT

Cool interpretation: Funny

"YAWNING"...

is Nature's Way Of Saying ...
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10% Battery Remaining..

Beggar: Very funny

Beggar: Give me food.
Man: I'll give you Vodka.
Beggar: I don't drink, Give me food.
Man: I'll give you cigarettes.
Beggar: I don't smoke.
Man: I'll take you to race.
Beggar: I don't gamble.
Man: I'll get you girl friend.
Beggar: I love only my wife.
Man: I'll give you food, but first you have to come to my house.
Begger: Why?
Man: I want my wife to see what state people get into when they don't Drink, Smoke, Gamble & Love only their own WIFE..!!

Bachelors vs Married

Bachelors think that married men are lucky.

Married men think that bachelors are lucky.

The point is that
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Bachelors think at night & Married think at day time.

Jadyaha ra Usko Budi: Very funny

Eauta atti nai jadyaha manche rayecha. Usko budi le chai usko nasha utarna lai ek din Seto saari layera aadhyaro ma basche. Budo aaucha usko najik ra sodhcha: Timi ko hou?
Usko budi: Ma boksi ho.
Jadyaha: Lau, haat milau teso vaye, ma chai timro bahini ko buda.

Poor Bill Gates: Epic Funny

Bill Gates recently got married. After the wedding, Bill and his new
wife got back to their honeymoon suite and later, of course, they
crashed into bed.
Apparently things didn't work out pretty well for Bill that night, and the
next morning his new wife got up, pointed at the embarrassed Bill
Gates and rather annoyed she said: "Now I know why your company is
called what it's called!" (MICRO & SOFT)

Impressing quotes: Facts & Quotes

1.Money can't buy happiness, but its
more
comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a
cycle :D .
2.Forgive your enemy, but remember
the
bastard's name:D .
3.Help a man when he is in trouble
and he will remember you
when he is in trouble again/:) .
4.Many people are alive only becoz
its illegal to shoot them(n) .
5.Alcohol doesn't solve any problem,
but
neither does juice** .
6.Smoking kills, but if you don't smoke,
doesn't mean you'll never die...!!

Secret behind success: Funny

BOYS RULE OF SUCCESS.
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Afno Zindagi Ma Kunai Kaam garnu agadi jahilai
GF/WIFE Sanga sallaa line garnu ...

Usle jasto sallaha Dinxe tesko thik Ulto kaam gara
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safalta le Timro kadam Choomnexa.

ABOUT TO SUICIDE couple: Funny

‎2 Lovers Le suicide garne planning garecha,
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Boy Jumped 1st, Girl Close Her Eyes
& Returned..
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Boy In Air, Opened Parashute & Said Malai tha thiyo
Badarni tah hamfaldaina vanera,!!!!
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From that day onwards, people
started saying LADIES FIRST

How a girl gets happy: Funny

Q :- How To Make A Girl Happy??

Ans :- It's not at all difficult to make girls happy!!

You only need to be-
1. A friend
2. Companion
3. Lover
4. Chef
5. Electrician
6. Carpenter
7. Plumber
8. Mechanic
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312. gud listener
313. organiser
314. gud boyfriend
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1054. Poet
1055. Determined
1056. Self dependent
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50014. Psychologist
50016. Astrologist
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3110018. Stylist
3110019. Driver
But it's not at all difficult..!!!

Love of boys: Funny

A boy and a girl loved each other very much.
Unfortunately, one day, the girl died. That day,
the boy was so so so sad and depressed that
he decided not to
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have a girlfriend for next two weeks.  :D
Moral: Men will be men

Elephant Funny

A group of elephents were sitting in jungle.

A sexy female elephent passes by them.

Then a loafer elephant said "wow what a figure 3400-2800-3600"!!! :p ;)

Gods Mercy

A man was driving down the street,
and he had an important meeting
and couldn't find parking. 
Looking up towards the Heaven, he said,
" Lord, have pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking. 

" Miraculously, a parking space appeared.
The man looked up again and said,
" Never mind. I found one. "

FunnY: Making of an Indian

भगवानले India को पहिलो मान्छे बनाए पछी
के भन्यो होला?
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सोच्नुस त?
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ओहो,फेरी बनाऊनु पर्ने भयो !!
यो त पुरै डढेछ !!!!
हा हा हा

Bluff call?? part 2

Eauta manche lai feri naya number bata phone aayecha.

keti: Hi, are you married??
keta: Yes, but who are you??
Keta: Timro girl friend. Timlai dhokebaaj!! BREAKUP

Bluff Call?? Part 1

Eauta manche lai naya number bata phone aayecha.

Keti(Mitho aawaj ma): Hi, are you single??

Keta: Yes, tara tapai chai ko ho??
Keti: TIMRO BUDI. AAJA GHAR TA AAU, JAANYA CHA!!

Epic Nepali Jadahya

In an Aeroplane, after 4-5 drinks-
British- I will sleep now.
American- I want to work on internet.
German- I will watch movies now.
Chinese- I will listen to music now.
Nepali: chhod aba terodai le plane chaluchha

Unluckiest person: Very Funny

Sansar Ko Sabai Bhanda abhaagi
Man6e Tyo Ho..
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Jasle Chau-Chau ko Packet maa
Masala Vetidaina !!

Facts about you

‎5 facts about You !!

You You You You You You You
You You You You You You You
You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You

1. Ur so lazy u didn't read all the You's,

2. U didn't notice i put a Yoo,

3. Ur now looking to find out,

4. Ur laughing coz u realize there is no Yoo & u hav been tricked !

Funny: Student Behavious

Lecture Was Going On..
Suddenly A Boy Went Out OfThe Class..
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Teacher: "Yo kina bahira gayo nasodikana???"
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His Friend : Sir Usko nindra ma hidne bani xa

Rest In Peace English

This is english......
Worth Reading .. 
This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna Road . I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

Stupid Math Student: Funny

A little boy was doing his maths homework & saying: 2+5, the son of a bitch is 7. 3+6, the son of a bitch is 9

His Mom: What are you doing?

Boy: I'm doing maths homework
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Mom: this is how your teacher taught you?

Boy: Yes

Infuriated, Mom asked the teacher the next day-'What are you teaching my son in maths?'

Teacher: Right now, we are learning addition.

Mom: you teaching them to say 2+ 2, the Son of a bitch is 4?

Teacher after laughing: What I taught them was, 2+2, the sum of which is 4 :D

Japanese Shocked: Funny

Old But Nice 

Japanese came to Nepal. He took a TAXI to go to the
airport. On THE way a HONDA overtakes,

JAPANESE:->"HONDA made in JAPAN very fast

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NEXT A TOYOTA OVERTAKES, he said
"TOYOTA made
in JAPAN, very fast."

Airport came he asked

"how much?" DRIVER:" 3000Rs

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JAPANESE:-> " Why so expensive?

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DRIVER: "METER made in Nepal very fast."

Eye checkup

A man visits his optician and says "Doctor, I'm having difficulty seeing distant objects". 

The optician opens the curtains and points into the sky. "What's that"? 

The man walks over, looks up and says "It's the Sun". 

The optician says "How far do you want to see"?

Funny: Wife vs Husband

Husband: Do you know the meaning
of WIFE?
It means, Without Information,
Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever

Big family Problem: Epic Funny

Daughter : Dad Im Lesbian
Dad: Oh okay

2nd Daughter: Im Also Lesbian
Dad: What ! 
Dosen't Anyone From This Family Love MEN?

Son: I Do ..

Funny: Study

Open your book, switch off your mobile & start studying !! 
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The above mentioned stunt is done by highly trained professionals so please don't try this at home !!

Expensive tear

There is nothing more expensive than a Female
tear.....
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When a single drop comes out,It First mixes with
"loreal"
Eyeliner 'n "Dior" Mascara
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Then when it comes down to cheek....
it mixes with D&G Blusher
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'n In case it touches the lips,It gets mixed with
"Maybelline" lipstick
This means that a single drop is worth Atleast
Rs.1500 !:P:D

Valentines day Tip

V-Day Tip: 

Tell your girl you already got her something and make her guess... 
She will automatically list the stuff she wants!!

Silly thief

Chor Aaya
Tijori pr Likha tha
"Todne ki Zrurt Nhi, Button Dabaao, Khul Jyega"
Button Dabate hi Police Aa gyi.

Chor-
"Aaj Mera Insaniyat se wishwas uth gaya"

Girl haircut

Dear Android/Apple,

Please make an App that alerts us every time our girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don't forget to notice...

Sincerely,
Everyone.

Blind man

Patient : "Would I be able to read after this eye surgery ?" 

Doctor : "Yes why not?" 

Patient : "But i'm an illiterate person" :P

Why are indians hated in USA

Why are Indian students are disliked in USA?

It was the first day of a school in the USA & a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade classroom...

The teacher said: Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?

He saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up & said: Patrick Henry, 1775!

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar: Abraham Lincoln, 1863!

The teacher snapped at the class: Class! You should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.

She heard a loud whisper: F*** the Indians!

'Who said that?', she demanded.

Chandrasekhar: General Custer, 1862.

At that point, a student in the back said: I'm gonna puke!

The teacher glares around & asks: All right! Now, who said that?

Again, Chandrasekhar says: George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.

Now furious, another student yells from the back of the class: Oh yeah? Suck this!

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand & shouts to the teacher: Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said: You little shit! If you say anything more, I'll kill you!

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice: Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said: Oh shit, we're screwed!

And Chandrasekhar said quietly: I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008.

Faker of love

I asked my heart ♥....
Why can't I sleep at night....?
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My heart told me:

bcoz you have all ready slept in the afternoon.

Dont act like you are in love....:p

Ferrari

Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do. 
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your Ferrari?

Funny: Little Jonny

Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take
off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

Funny: Buffalo girl

A Boy was driving a car.
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A girl on scooty overtook him.
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Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
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Girl turned back n shouted.."you
donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"
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Suddenly she had an accident She
was hit by a buffalo crossing d
road..
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MORAL: "Girls never understand
what a boy wants 2
say"

Funny: Uncertainities

NCELL ko Balance ra

NTC ko Network

FACEBOOK ma bhet bhako keti
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Kahile janxa thaha hunna

Funny: Vele ra Football

Ronaldo aaye ni, Messi aayeni, Pele vanya Pele nai ho

Cricket matrai ho, Football ta dhoti le kheleko  khelei ho.

Sharukh khan vaye ni, Salman khan vaye ni,  Vele vanya vele nai

Jay Nepal

Funny: Rajesh dai vs Rajinikant

       Ek din Rajinikant Rajesh dai lai guff didai rayecha.

Rajnikant: Rajesh ji, Mero ghar ta yesto thulo cha ki Eauta room bata arko room ma jana Local train use garnu parcha.

Rajesh dai ley ni farkai haley:

Rajesh dai: “Mero ghar ma ta eauta room bata arko room ma phone garyo vaney Roaming charge lagcha.”

Funny: Rajesh dai Biker

Ek din Valentino Rossi lai Rajesh dai sanga bike race garna mann laagyecha.

Kosley jityo, any guess?? Of course, Rajesh dai won.  Then Valentino Rossi Fainted. Any guess why??

Becoz Rajesh dai was driving in Neutral.